You're not alone. I have worked with women who went to school for a degree they weren't even interested in just because their parents insisted. I have worked with women who got married to a man they didn't love just because it was expected of them by their families. I have worked with women who had no idea what it was they wanted, but knew they are tremendously unhappy with who they became and where they were in their lives.
This is common because most women like to please. And if you are anything like I used to be, not pleasing someone else is so painful that you just don't let it happen. Yet, who suffers when you are not even trying to please yourself? You are!
First, you need to understand you are entitled to have the life you want; a life which is agreeable to you and supports you and your desires. You just have to take the action to get it.
The first step is a matter of knowing who you are. And that might be really hard especially if you have been pretending to be someone else because you don't even know who you are or what you want.
So, get to know who you are. Who are you when you are being your true, authentic self? Seems easy on the surface, right? Not necessarily. In order to work toward getting to know you-to really know yourself-spend quiet time alone with paper and pen to answer the following questions (schedule this on your calendar if you have to):
* What makes me smile? * What excites me? * When do I feel the most joy? * What makes me feel good? * What are my favorite hobbies or past-times? * What am I really good at doing?
Don't hold back your answers. Let them flow. This is for you! However, if you feel that you are holding back, it is a telltale sign you are possibly afraid you will be judged by others. Stop! This is what got you in this position in the first place; it only leads to you behaving like someone else.
So now you have your true answers to the questions above. Think about how it would feel if you pursued them and didn't have any fear of being judged or questioned. (Yes, you can do this. You must do this in order to have the life you really want!)